Category Archives: RITUALS & PASSAGES

Prince, the Purple Train and High Heel Shoes: Bonding With My Daughter

I can’t believe another summer is drawing to a close. Despite my mother being right (and mother’s always are—despite our daughters disavowing that fact), I refuse to admit the days of sunshine and roses seem to be going faster the older I get. But, here it is a week into August already, the school supplies are running low on the shelves at Walmart and I’m calculating how many pool days I might have left before I risk getting hypothermia in the unheated water.

So it was two months ago, today, June 7th, that my daughter and I attended a party in honor of the late, great Prince on what would have been his birthday. We live about 100 miles, as the crow flies, from Paisley Park. Prince is a god in these parts. Any party in his honor is going to be a rocking time, but one hosted on a historical rail car billed the Purple Train for the evening, makes that literal.

As planned, I picked my daughter up at her house. As expected, with two children and a man-child husband, she was running just a tad late. Having worked delays into the schedule didn’t stop me from engaging in a smidgeon of interstate impatience. I mean, seriously, you could hardly call a few choice commentaries on the rush hour commuters’ collective I.Q. road rage.

“You’re going to be one of those really crumidgey ladies when you get old, aren’t you?” 

She meant curmudgeonly. I prefer to think of myself as crotchety. It infers the feminine aspect of curmudgeon—or at least I like to think so.

My first thought was, I am old. But who could blame her for not recognizing my sage position in life. I was the one who bought the tickets to the party, I was the one driving us to the train, and I was the one dressed in purple from the fedora on my head, wrapped with purple paisley scarf trailing down my back, to the purple patent stilettos on my feet.

All of this went through my head, before I answered her question. “Yes, when I am old, I’m going to be a real bitch.”

She, in no purple but wearing appropriate skinny jeans, big-hoop earrings and a pair of drop-dead, four-inch, leopard print platform pumps, laughed and said, “It will be so much fun taking you out of the home for day trips.”

It’s my own fault, I raised the smart ass.

Staged on a moving, vintage train traveling a fifty mile scenic route and back one might have questioned our elevating footwear. We ourselves briefly considered the wisdom of dancing in high heels while being jostled over railroad tracks in poor repair, but for two women with more than 100 pairs of shoes, booties, boots and sandals between us, it was a brief debate. The shoes won over wisdom.

There were four cars making up the Purple Train (it wasn’t really purple). The first was a boxcar empty of anything but the DJ’s sound equipment and purple lights. Next was the bar car, followed by two standard commuter coaches.

Our plan was to spend at least some time in the comfort of the roomy, vintage passenger seats. It was a good plan, made better by the fact that the sound quality of the Prince catalog was far superior in coach than it was in the dance-party car. But, much as the shoes were a necessary part of the ensemble, a DJ spinning Prince meant there would be non-stop dancing.Screen Shot 2017-08-07 at 2.34.38 PM

It’s good for a crotchety old woman like myself to put on her high heels and haul her old dance moves out onto the floor once in a while. Maintaining my balance in purple stilettos while dancing on a rocking train proves I’ve still got it.

Having my daughter lean in close to tell me to please, don’t break a hip it will spoil the party, is just more payback for raising a smart-ass.

After three hours (with a long, planned stop at the far end of the track) the Purple Train pulled back into the station and we headed back to my baby blue VW Bug, Blucy (she has false eyelashes on her headlights). I kicked off my shoes and removed my fedora. My salt & peppa hair was plastered to my head with sweat, from dancing or post middle age flashes—I’m not sure which.

“Let’s stop at the Choo Choo for a drink,” my daughter suggested. Yes, that’s the name of the bar. Yes, it’s a rail road town.

“But, I have hat hair.”

“So put your hat back on.”

Despite embracing a somewhat bohemian esthetic, I don’t normally hang out in working class, neighborhood bars dressed to draw attention. I raised an eyebrow at her.

“You can practice your crabby old lady routine.” She said. “If anybody asks about the hat, just tell them you’ve been riding the Purple Train all night long.”

“That sounds like a drug euphemism.”

“Even better!” she laughed. “I’ll stand behind you and shake my head, saying ‘Old hippy—too many psychedelic trips.”

That could be fun,” I said. “The trips, not the hat hair.” 

I snugged my hat onto my head at a daring angle and squeezed my swollen feet back into my heels. 

The summer isn’t over yet. Bonnie Raitt is appearing under a big top in three weeks,  just fifty miles from my daughter’s house. Now where did I put my cowboy boots?


A Bear in Winter

I’m drinking my morning wake-up coffee in a darkened house, sitting by the warm glow of the gas fireplace. Outside the wind is howling and it’s dark. Really, really dark. In the northern realm, we’re getting about nine hours of light from sun up to sun down. Most days, I am up before the sun is.FullSizeRender_1

I welcome the slower pace this time of year. There is plenty of time to catch up with indoor projects that were left languishing during the high months of summer. There’s time to spend in quiet contemplation, reconnecting  to my personal touch points— discovering where I am on my life path and where I want to go. Still, these dark days of deep winter can be troublesome for me.

The scarcity of light during the long, cold months nudges me into a state of near hibernation; I go deeper into my self-imposed cave each day. Since I also suffer FullSizeRenderwith a high degree of Seasonal Affective Disorder (aptly named SAD), this holing up indoors  has me longing to swaddle myself in soporific fleece and curl up into a state of cozy semi-consciousness to await spring’s return.

Oh to be a bear in winter, to close my eyes to the dismal dark and sleep through until the light returns.

Since I haven’t mastered the art of shape shifting (yet), and thus won’t be morphing into a bear any time soon,  I’ve decided instead to buy a full FullSizeRender_2spectrum light. I’m sure my failing eyesight will thank me as much as my moody self.

In the meantime, while I’m waiting for my GLAD lamp (Gobs of Light All Day)to arrive in the mail, I’m painting my blue period.


Bluebird of Happiness

I have a bluebird nesting box at the corner of my garden. Every spring, a pair of Eastern Bluebirds shows up around my birthday (a few weeks from now) to set up household. I don’t know if it’s the same pair every year, or even if they are offspring fledged from the nest the previous summer.

Bluebird

Sam watching me . . . watching him.

No matter, I named them after my maternal grandparents and each year, same pair or different, I welcome Sam and Betty back to the corner of my garden sanctuary. Then I sit back to watch the show of nest building, predator smack downs, food gathering and baby fledging.

Until this very moment, I’ve never questioned why I find so much joy in watching these birds in their dance of procreation. I think, maybe, it’s the reassurance they give that all is right with the world, that minus human weakness and drama, the earth keeps spinning and life continues on.

Who better to remind me not to sweat the small stuff than the harbinger of happiness? The association of the bluebird with the emotion of happiness is found in numerous cultures and dates back thousands of years, the oldest evidence being found on oracle bone inscriptions in pre-modern China. Interestingly enough, in the Tang Dynasty the bluebird evolved from a fierce goddess into a fairy queen, the protector of singing girls, novices, nuns, adepts and priestesses – women who dared to step out of traditional roles. Now that’s a legend the MAD Goddess can appreciate.Image

Happiness is based in many things including a feeling of contentment, fulfillment and purpose, in relationships and life circumstances.  In the traditional roles of women, we often spend more time and give more effort to ensuring others’ happiness; parents, partners and especially children. This isn’t to say we aren’t happy in doing so, but then one day, we find our nest empty and ourselves wondering, what next?

The empty next lies before you with all the promise of a new Spring, just waiting to be seeded with  your wildest dreams. How will you manifest your happiness and watch it grow in this second half of life?

If you are joining me in the *Dark Moon Lodge, we are stepping out and stepping into spring – the season of stirrings. We’re planting our seeds and nurturing our dreams into growth. You can find out more about the journey by clicking here (use the password darkmoon).

*When the moon is new, and associated with beginnings, growth and increase, it cannot be seen in the night sky – this is why it is also known as the dark moon – a void, not to be feared, but to be filled.