Author Archives: JL

September 10, 2013

The Turning Wheel

By JL
This moon phase began with the new moon on Sept. 5th and will end with dark moon on Oct. 3. This autumn moon represents change, the cycles of seasons in nature and in our lives. The moon is associated in Celtic lore with the Triple Goddess, Maiden, Mother and Crone.
In our modern society, these stages overlap more than ever before. We can thank our consumer culture for the unrealistic expectation of remaining eternally youthful, forever the maiden. Women of age and wisdom are, to say the least, not exactly honored in our culture. Yet, look around; if ever we needed the wisdom of grandmothers now is the time.
Instead, how many of us are  still mothering our adult children, effectively clipping their wings? How many of us find ourselves providing primary childrcare for our grandchildren long after our Mother stage should have naturally passed? Is it because young parents are not stepping up to the plate, or because we have refused to step aside for them?
I asked my oldest daughter and mother of four, why she thinks so many of her generation seemed to be totally overwhelmed by the task of parenting their children.
“Too many parents who weren’t around or thought their job was  to make everything easier for us growing up,” she said.
Wow! What an eye opener.
So to make up for it we are mothering our children and grandchildren. Yet again we are failing to pass on the mantle of Mother and step into our roles as Crone. What we must ask ourselves is whether stepping in to pick up the slack for our adult children is a selfless or selfish act on our part?  Should we be raising children long after nature would  have us do so? Should we be prolonging our daughters’ Maiden stage beyond its time?
Is our reluctance to take up the duties of Crone because we think that we are not yet seasoned enough for this wisdom stage? If not us, then who?
What stage are you in? Do you find yourself juggling all three? How can you honor your stage and ground your being in your natural place? And how will that help those around you – family, friends, community?

1 Comment | posted in Aging Gracelessly, RITUALS & PASSAGES

July 12, 2013

When Dreams Have Been On Hold

By JL

I am in such a rare place in life; a truly sweet spot. There is no telling how long it will last so I want to enjoy it as much as I possibly can.

An artist whose work I admire posted this on her Facebook timeline a few days ago.

I play this game with life. It says, “What now?”
I say, “Something Amazing!” And then I watch.
It never disappoints.
~Marabeth Quin

Having been laid low more than a few time by life’s heartbreaks (personal loss, death, disappointments). I know that amazing isn’t always the order of the day. But it is always possible – even at the darkest moment.

My husband and I waited five years for his medically predicted loss in the battle against heart disease, and when it seemed the shadow of death was drawing ever nearer, when the risks of surgery were less than the risk of doing nothing, he surprised us all by beating the odds. He awoke from surgery to a second chance at life.  How amazing!

So now it is my turn to take my life off of hold, to again pursue my purpose and passion with a whole lot of pizzazz.  That feels amazing too.

Every day, things all around me are changing. Who would think that completing chores could be such a thrill? In five years time many things went undone, for my husband’s physical inability to do them and my emotional incapacity to do it all alone.

We had known “retirement” a bit earlier than most because of my husband’s disability – adjusting to him being home full time, also included adjusting to becoming a somewhat caretaker.  But now his heart is fixed, as his daughter says, and we are beginning a new journey in our lives.

As we embark life is asking us, “What next?” and I am answering with a resounding “Something amazing, please!”

4 Comments   |  tags: , , , , , , , , | posted in Joie de Vivre, Life Unscheduled, Self Care

April 10, 2013

Fat Bottom Queen

By JL

“Fat bottom girls make the rockin’ world go round.” – Queen

It’s a dark (or new) moon tonight. If inclined to work with solar and lunar cycles, this is an auspicious time to stir up a little banishing energy to chase away that which no longer serves your desire or purpose. It’s a bit of an oxymoron – the new moon is actually a waxing – or increasing – moon, but it is at 0% of illumination, completely dark to the eye. This dark moon is the realm of inner work and favored for bidding good riddance to whatever irks or ails you.

Having recently laid out some hard earned cash for an age appropriate fitness DVD, it crossed my mind that today would be a good day to begin a weight-loss regime. Well, a good day to begin again, since the very first morning after it arrived in the mail, I earned a gold star for jumping through all the hoops; cardio, toning and balance.

Then I woke the next day, aching from head to foot. My remedy was to comfort myself with a breakfast of French toast, sausage and a promise to at least hobble through the hoops after my stiff muscles loosened up a bit. That took a week.

And then, it was Easter. How could I start a new fitness program when there was glazed ham, cheesy potatoes and Peeps to eat?  After Easter, it was my birthday. I’m so grateful for having the best BFF’s an old gal could ask for. They know that birthdays of a certain age call for chocolate and wine, and more chocolate and more wine, and then more chocolate and more wine. The gifts kept coming for a full week.

Now, here we are, under a dark moon and a very good day to start my fitness program again – commit to banishing all the junk food from the house and increasing my activity level. But there is still one gift remaining; the cute, personal-sized devil’s food cake tempting me to adorn it with peppermint ice cream and gobble it up.

So I’m thinking maybe I could use the banishing energy of this moon phase to dump the guilt and disappointment I’ve been carrying around for the past 10 years over my failure to maintain the svelte size 8 of my pre-midlife/menopausal/post-hysterectomy days.

I am done obsessing about every bit of food that goes into my mouth. How many calories? How much fat? From now on, I am going to eat what suits me, when it suits me, and I think what suits me is to have wine and chocolate every day.

White wine, red wine, rosé, Chablis,
it all suits me to a T.
A glass or two – or maybe three,
and chocolate – dark, melty, and sweet.
These are the things I shall eat.
Sweet, sweet on my lips;
be damned what finds its home upon my hips!

2 Comments   |  tags: , , | posted in Aging Gracelessly, Beauty and Image