Category Archives: Aging Gracelessly
Fat Bottom Queen
“Fat bottom girls make the rockin’ world go round.” – Queen
It’s a dark (or new) moon tonight. If inclined to work with solar and lunar cycles, this is an auspicious time to stir up a little banishing energy to chase away that which no longer serves your desire or purpose. It’s a bit of an oxymoron – the new moon is actually a waxing – or increasing – moon, but it is at 0% of illumination, completely dark to the eye. This dark moon is the realm of inner work and favored for bidding good riddance to whatever irks or ails you.
Having recently laid out some hard earned cash for an age appropriate fitness DVD, it crossed my mind that today would be a good day to begin a weight-loss regime. Well, a good day to begin again, since the very first morning after it arrived in the mail, I earned a gold star for jumping through all the hoops; cardio, toning and balance.
Then I woke the next day, aching from head to foot. My remedy was to comfort myself with a breakfast of French toast, sausage and a promise to at least hobble through the hoops after my stiff muscles loosened up a bit. That took a week.
And then, it was Easter. How could I start a new fitness program when there was glazed ham, cheesy potatoes and Peeps to eat? After Easter, it was my birthday. I’m so grateful for having the best BFF’s an old gal could ask for. They know that birthdays of a certain age call for chocolate and wine, and more chocolate and more wine, and then more chocolate and more wine. The gifts kept coming for a full week.
Now, here we are, under a dark moon and a very good day to start my fitness program again – commit to banishing all the junk food from the house and increasing my activity level. But there is still one gift remaining; the cute, personal-sized devil’s food cake tempting me to adorn it with peppermint ice cream and gobble it up.
So I’m thinking maybe I could use the banishing energy of this moon phase to dump the guilt and disappointment I’ve been carrying around for the past 10 years over my failure to maintain the svelte size 8 of my pre-midlife/menopausal/post-hysterectomy days.
I am done obsessing about every bit of food that goes into my mouth. How many calories? How much fat? From now on, I am going to eat what suits me, when it suits me, and I think what suits me is to have wine and chocolate every day.
White wine, red wine, rosé, Chablis,
it all suits me to a T.
A glass or two – or maybe three,
and chocolate – dark, melty, and sweet.
These are the things I shall eat.
Sweet, sweet on my lips;
be damned what finds its home upon my hips!
Black Friday: Is This Bill of Goods Worth the Bargain?
It’s been said the secret to happiness is learning to want what you have instead of longing to have what you want.
What kind of anarchy is this?
If that simplistic philosophy were to take root and grow, it would surely smother the very breath of capitalism and consumption economics in America.
There is no denying it — we are a nation of great consumers, using up, replacing and upgrading; always wanting more or better than what we have.
It’s the American way. An entire industry, if not the very economy of our country, is based on it; suggesting the need, creating the desire and closing the deal — the holy grail of marketing.
About a week ago, while perusing the shelves at the local discount chain, searching for the right toothpaste to meet my dental needs, I spotted a newcomer to the already 50 or more choices. One major brand now offers an age appropriate formula for baby boomers.
Age appropriate toothpaste isn’t exactly a new concept. A tot formula was introduced some time back, presumably made with less potentially injurious ingredients if ingested. Turns out small children like to swallow the paste made with flavors, like bubble gum. Go figure.
I donned my cheaters and started comparing ingredients listed on the packages only to find the senior toothpaste, formulated to address the needs of aging gums and teeth — gingivitis, enamel loss and sensitivity — were virtually the same ingredients in the complete care formula I’ve been using.
Curious, I went on to spend more time than I should have reading the backs of numerous brands and formulas. Here’s the short breakdown to save you the trouble: The active ingredients are the same regardless of which benefits the packaging touts. So pick your poison.
In other words, go for the flavor that you most like, or the freshness factor when done brushing, or the sensitive paste if you need it. Choose the sparkly gel or the abrasive paste. Buy pearly liquid dispensed in drops or paste that foams from a pump. It’s all going to do the same job.
Having taken numerous marketing courses in recent years, I can tell you that the confusing array of seemingly different options to choose from is all about the pitch. And the pitch is all about giving lagging sales a shot in the arm.
Here’s another time saving tip for you. The same applies to shampoo, hair conditioners and styling products, cosmetics and facial creams, nutritional supplements, and OTC medications across brands. Just pick the ones with containers to match your décor, or prices to fit your coin purse. It’s all going to deliver the same results.
Really, the marketing hype permeates almost everything we purchase. The buzz promises, healthier, whiter teeth; smoother, flawless skin; cleaner, whiter laundry; sleeker body style and magic assist parking; fuller flavor and fewer calories; better fit with secret control panel; bigger screen, more aps, unlimited minutes; smaller chip, more memory. If all else fails, we can replace the things we already have with things that are a new color, new shape, longer, shorter, smaller or bigger.
Is it any wonder we old broads become more and more invisible as the years add up? What do we have to offer that is new? Although, we are most definitely improved. Perhaps we need a marketing campaign for that; “Wiser – Kinder and more user friendly than ever before!” Okay, that last part might only apply to the grandkids – but still truth in advertising.
I digress. The only thing really new about these consumer products is the packaging and the pitch; nothing more than devices to reposition a familiar product at the front end of the marketing cycle and generate an increase in sales. And all of that redesigned packaging with the associated sales campaign to launch a “new and improved” product drives up the price of what we buy.
Go consumption economics!
So to Black Friday, I say now’s the time to throw down your circulars, break ranks and join the revolution. Free yourself from the oppression of acquiring everything you want. Go back to your warm bed and find your bliss by finding satisfaction in what you have.
As for us old babes who are genuinely getting better ever day, I say raise your own value – you are definitely worth the investment for the true happiness you bring to others.
madgoddess.com 