Somebody said that. I don’t know who, or if they were important or well known. Whoever it was also added that happiness is not having what you want.
Fifteen years ago I was meandering around the interwebs looking for things. I wasn’t sure what things, but things that would fulfill me, fill me. I’d know when I found it.
I found SoulCollage®. I knew I wanted it, or rather, wanted to learn how to create the telling cards and use the system of self discovery that was going to bring positive change in my life and others I would teach.
Unfortunately, I didn’t have the spare change to fly my ass out to the West Coast, the only place training was offered at the time, let alone to cover the fee for the weekend intensive. So, I did what I always do, read every word I could find and improvised.
Almost ten years later, SoulCollage® training made it’s way east, to Chicago. This time I scraped up the fee, enrolled in the training and pointed my little VW Bug toward the Windy City.
It was everything I expected, and less. Let me explain. I was not disappointed in the least by the substance and quality of the training, the experience of community that I found with those of like mind, or the unique location—a former Catholic campus, turned residence home for retired nuns and priests.
Are you kidding me? A gaggle of middle aged feminists dallying with tarot-like image cards to access our soul purpose? We may as well have hauled out the Ouiji board and pentagrams.
Turns out the nuns were not only curious, but very open to the concept. As I explained it to one of them over lunch she smiled and said to me, “Oh, you mean you’re trying to know your inner Christ.”
You say potAto, I say potAHto . . . we’re both still eating carbs.
So, back to the part about being less than I expected. It didn’t change my life in any revolutionary way (at least not then). Probably because like many things I want with all of my being when I see them, once in my possession there are new wants to pursue. Nature of the beast, or nurturing from a consumer driven environment pushing us to always acquire more in our doing, being and having? New flash! There is never enough, we are never enough in that paradigm.
So, as it turns out, I’ve made quite a collection of SoulCollage® cards, and a funny thing happened along the way, a subtle change in my wants. Sure, some of my cards speak to me about consumption and abundance, and time running out, about wanting what my eyes see—like this one. Can’t you just hear her, saying it . . . “Oh, I want that!”
But so many others are about hidden magic, creativity, freedom from expectations and a sense of wonder at the unexpected. Like me, a recovering Catholic school girl pulling up to a nunnery and not running in the opposite direction; totally unexpected. Or so enjoying the three days spent there that I have wanted to return ever since!
It’s very first world, to be able to say I’m learning to want fewer material things from the physical realm. It means I am secure and my needs are met—there is no wolf at the door. It’s the epitome of privilege to say I’m learning to want what I have instead of having what I want.
It’s where I’m at and who I am right now. And it’s enough.
I am the MAD Goddess, and I’ve got the *magic* in me.
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September 3rd, 2017 at 7:55 am
What a lovely “sharing”… I quite enjoyed this little peek into your life and you have given me much to reflect upon today. I especially liked your blog title… Happiness is wanting what you have… yes I do believe I was meant to find you today!! from another recovering Catholic schoolgirl.
September 3rd, 2017 at 8:35 am
Do you do those “classes” up there then – about the Soul Cards? I Love that concept and the doing. About 20 or so years ago, 4 friends and I, at that time living in Atlanta, would get together maybe every other Friday or so to drink wine and evolve and support each other’s big goals/dreams.
One Friday we did collages around this – we had a short time frame so we wouldn’t think about it but just come from the heart and immediacy. The finished works ware amazingly telling and at least a couple really surprised the artists that made them (all of us are designers and artists currently and back then) and the rest of us.
2 or 3 of the folks had their paths change substantially based on this exercise and the give and take conversations afterwards.
Miracles can be very quiet. These were miracles.
September 4th, 2017 at 6:04 am
I discovered soul collage years ago, did it on my own for quite a while. Your post makes me want to take it up again. I wish there were workshops or training near me.
September 4th, 2017 at 1:55 pm
Thank you from yet another recovering Catholic school girl!
September 4th, 2017 at 7:56 pm
I’ve got the magic in me … beautiful and strong statement.
September 9th, 2017 at 1:51 pm
Reminded me to go through all I have and appreciate it. To get it out of the drawers and check for what is there, rather than rush to fill another opening hole – I’m always in a desperate search for the next project, living in fear I’ll run out of things to make. I have hoarded art stuff and beads and yarn and projects for years now. I don’t make anything fast enough to balance flow of in and out. And appreciate the privilege I have to actually do this. Thank you for these thoughts – I needed pulling out of the blue! Xx
September 9th, 2017 at 2:05 pm
OMGosh me too. Ton and tons of art supplies and I don’t produce fast enough to use it all. Earlier this year, I did make a dent in it by donating some to needy places. When it seems hard to let thing go, I think of releasing them to a better purpose than being locked away from the world their beauty cannot be appreciated.