Tag Archives: MAD Goddess

Everything I Ever Wanted, Just For Today

Don’t you just love the feeling when you accomplish a chore that has been nagging at you to be done? I cleaned my studio (a big chore) and even rearranged the work spaces in deference to the wall mounted space heater we recently had installed so I can use the little workshop year round for writing and art. The huge oak writer’s desk that I’d dreamed of for twenty years, but never had a space for until I acquired my studio a few years ago, was blocking the air flow.

The day started with the studio in a mess, scattered with art supplies not stowed away in the cupboards, cubbies and other spaces I’d so carefully thought out when first equipping my little space. My plan was to swap positions of the mammoth desk and the art table, then turn the art table so that it fit up against the wall, rather than arranging it perpendicular the way the writing desk had been, cutting the room in half.

No point in putting the art supplies away when I would just be moving them to the opposite side of the studio once all the shifting around was done.

Yes, that means I moved everything in the studio from one place to another, in the midst of mounds of clutter. The room went quickly from a small mess to looking like a tornado when through it, as my mother used to say.

Eventually everything was in its place and all was right in my little world. As if to validate the sentiment, the sun chose that late hour of the day to finally shine through the cloud cover, angling in through the studio window to catch one of the many faceted prism hanging about. The room danced with rainbows.

Life plays out in much the same way. We keep accumulating psychic stuff, carrying it around with us, pushing it out of the way, stuffing it here or there until we can’t ignore the nagging mess any longer. That’s usually when we dig in, trying to get to the bottom of things, or to shake things loose, let them fall where they may and then begin picking up the pieces. We toss out what is no longer useful and then rearrange what we keep to better suit our needs. When we can finally, make some kind of order out of it all we feel better.

For a little while, at least. There is no such thing as getting all your ducks in a row and keeping them that way once and for all, and definitely not for happily ever after. There is just today and getting it right just for today can be a pretty big accomplishment.

So for today, my studio is clean, rearranged, efficient and full of rainbows. Just for today, it’s waiting for me to write the next great American novel. And for today, that’s enough.


When Dreams Have Been On Hold

I am in such a rare place in life; a truly sweet spot. There is no telling how long it will last so I want to enjoy it as much as I possibly can.

An artist whose work I admire posted this on her Facebook timeline a few days ago.

I play this game with life. It says, “What now?”
I say, “Something Amazing!” And then I watch.
It never disappoints.
~Marabeth Quin

Having been laid low more than a few time by life’s heartbreaks (personal loss, death, disappointments). I know that amazing isn’t always the order of the day. But it is always possible – even at the darkest moment.

My husband and I waited five years for his medically predicted loss in the battle against heart disease, and when it seemed the shadow of death was drawing ever nearer, when the risks of surgery were less than the risk of doing nothing, he surprised us all by beating the odds. He awoke from surgery to a second chance at life.  How amazing!

So now it is my turn to take my life off of hold, to again pursue my purpose and passion with a whole lot of pizzazz.  That feels amazing too.

Every day, things all around me are changing. Who would think that completing chores could be such a thrill? In five years time many things went undone, for my husband’s physical inability to do them and my emotional incapacity to do it all alone.

We had known “retirement” a bit earlier than most because of my husband’s disability – adjusting to him being home full time, also included adjusting to becoming a somewhat caretaker.  But now his heart is fixed, as his daughter says, and we are beginning a new journey in our lives.

As we embark life is asking us, “What next?” and I am answering with a resounding “Something amazing, please!”