Green Cheese and I Am (who i am)

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February 7, 2014 by Judith Liebaert

Throughout our lifetime we are many things to many people, including ourselves when we choose paths to careers, lifestyles and relationships. As women we wear many hats. We are born somebody’s daughter and perhaps sister. We grow up and become someone else’s lover and maybe wife. Likely we are mother to one or more children. Even if we do not give birth we foster others, or we nurture other creative endeavors; it’s our way.

Another way we have is to become shape shifters. My stars! – we can become whatever the situation calls for in the time it took Samantha Stevens to wiggle that pretty little nose of hers. And I’m not laying the rap for that on any outside control. We do it willingly. We do it for the strokes it gives us. We purr and lap up the praise like greedy little felines lapping up milk.

To be clear, here, I’m talking about women of a certain era. The younger generations have learned and earned an independence we believed existed about as much as we believed the moon was made of green cheese. It comes with it’s own set of undie-bundlers, but that’s another story for another day.

I recently posted this poem (I wrote a few decades ago), but I think it’s worth sharing again. It says so much about how we shape our lives in willing service to others. Sometimes it all happens so easily, we to forget who we really are.

My Own Small Voice ~
daughter
sister
mother
wife
what if ?
orphan
only child
childless woman
widow
who am I, then?
lover
friend
just more names
fitting me to others’ frames
i have listened long to their words
fragmented by the messages heard
now one voice, though quiet and small
has the magic to silence them all
© – All rights reserved.

I wrote this at a time, not of discontent for my lot in life, but when I was rightly questioning how or if I might make different day-to-day choices if I were not attached to any other person. What movies would I choose to see, what food would I cook and eat, where would I like to live, work, and play? This type of healthy, self-examination kept me from martyring myself to any quarter – because we all know, martyrdom rarely ends well.

Beneath all the hats, and all of the masks you wear, who are you? Who do you want to be in your second half of life? What spark of creativity is hiding beneath layers of imposed fear, pain, anger – maybe even abuse?

Begin to listen to that small voice speaking from your heart of hearts. She is you in your purest essence. She will tell you what happiness is. She will show you loving ways of nurturing yourself at least as much as you nurture others. She has the power to heal your wounds, feed your dreams and lead you on your path to a life lived with purpose, passion and pizzazz.

Are you ready to begin the journey. Come into the Dark Moon Lodge and see what it’s all about. Use password – darkmoon.

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