Category Archives: MUSINGS

Prince, the Purple Train and High Heel Shoes: Bonding With My Daughter

I can’t believe another summer is drawing to a close. Despite my mother being right (and mother’s always are—despite our daughters disavowing that fact), I refuse to admit the days of sunshine and roses seem to be going faster the older I get. But, here it is a week into August already, the school supplies are running low on the shelves at Walmart and I’m calculating how many pool days I might have left before I risk getting hypothermia in the unheated water.

So it was two months ago, today, June 7th, that my daughter and I attended a party in honor of the late, great Prince on what would have been his birthday. We live about 100 miles, as the crow flies, from Paisley Park. Prince is a god in these parts. Any party in his honor is going to be a rocking time, but one hosted on a historical rail car billed the Purple Train for the evening, makes that literal.

As planned, I picked my daughter up at her house. As expected, with two children and a man-child husband, she was running just a tad late. Having worked delays into the schedule didn’t stop me from engaging in a smidgeon of interstate impatience. I mean, seriously, you could hardly call a few choice commentaries on the rush hour commuters’ collective I.Q. road rage.

“You’re going to be one of those really crumidgey ladies when you get old, aren’t you?” 

She meant curmudgeonly. I prefer to think of myself as crotchety. It infers the feminine aspect of curmudgeon—or at least I like to think so.

My first thought was, I am old. But who could blame her for not recognizing my sage position in life. I was the one who bought the tickets to the party, I was the one driving us to the train, and I was the one dressed in purple from the fedora on my head, wrapped with purple paisley scarf trailing down my back, to the purple patent stilettos on my feet.

All of this went through my head, before I answered her question. “Yes, when I am old, I’m going to be a real bitch.”

She, in no purple but wearing appropriate skinny jeans, big-hoop earrings and a pair of drop-dead, four-inch, leopard print platform pumps, laughed and said, “It will be so much fun taking you out of the home for day trips.”

It’s my own fault, I raised the smart ass.

Staged on a moving, vintage train traveling a fifty mile scenic route and back one might have questioned our elevating footwear. We ourselves briefly considered the wisdom of dancing in high heels while being jostled over railroad tracks in poor repair, but for two women with more than 100 pairs of shoes, booties, boots and sandals between us, it was a brief debate. The shoes won over wisdom.

There were four cars making up the Purple Train (it wasn’t really purple). The first was a boxcar empty of anything but the DJ’s sound equipment and purple lights. Next was the bar car, followed by two standard commuter coaches.

Our plan was to spend at least some time in the comfort of the roomy, vintage passenger seats. It was a good plan, made better by the fact that the sound quality of the Prince catalog was far superior in coach than it was in the dance-party car. But, much as the shoes were a necessary part of the ensemble, a DJ spinning Prince meant there would be non-stop dancing.Screen Shot 2017-08-07 at 2.34.38 PM

It’s good for a crotchety old woman like myself to put on her high heels and haul her old dance moves out onto the floor once in a while. Maintaining my balance in purple stilettos while dancing on a rocking train proves I’ve still got it.

Having my daughter lean in close to tell me to please, don’t break a hip it will spoil the party, is just more payback for raising a smart-ass.

After three hours (with a long, planned stop at the far end of the track) the Purple Train pulled back into the station and we headed back to my baby blue VW Bug, Blucy (she has false eyelashes on her headlights). I kicked off my shoes and removed my fedora. My salt & peppa hair was plastered to my head with sweat, from dancing or post middle age flashes—I’m not sure which.

“Let’s stop at the Choo Choo for a drink,” my daughter suggested. Yes, that’s the name of the bar. Yes, it’s a rail road town.

“But, I have hat hair.”

“So put your hat back on.”

Despite embracing a somewhat bohemian esthetic, I don’t normally hang out in working class, neighborhood bars dressed to draw attention. I raised an eyebrow at her.

“You can practice your crabby old lady routine.” She said. “If anybody asks about the hat, just tell them you’ve been riding the Purple Train all night long.”

“That sounds like a drug euphemism.”

“Even better!” she laughed. “I’ll stand behind you and shake my head, saying ‘Old hippy—too many psychedelic trips.”

That could be fun,” I said. “The trips, not the hat hair.” 

I snugged my hat onto my head at a daring angle and squeezed my swollen feet back into my heels. 

The summer isn’t over yet. Bonnie Raitt is appearing under a big top in three weeks,  just fifty miles from my daughter’s house. Now where did I put my cowboy boots?


Hairball Goop and Gold Bond Foot Cream

It’s cold and raining today. A lot of people I know are happy about this. I think because it’s been 89.9 degrees and about the same extreme in percent of humidity for a few weeks now. That’s very unusual for far north Minnesconsin (Minnesota/Wisconsin—take your pick. The line blurs here in the woodsy forest), but hey, who said anything about climate change?

Honestly, I welcome the warmer-than-what-used-to-be-normal weather. Probably because I don’t have to work outside in it. I feel sorry for those people who have to work outside in a steam bath climate, but maybe they should have thought about that when they were making career choices.

Here in the rugged northland we have the heat on nine months out of the year. I live with a man who has to have air conditioned air to breathe the other three months,  because of COPD and asthma and I really believe mostly it’s that he prefers a room at 62-degrees because of his freakish fast metabolism. I thank the gods every day our house was not conducive to adding central air; the polar zone is limited to one room, which I can leave when I don’t feel like wrapping up in a fleece blanket for the only three months of the year that I don’t have to be wrapped up in a fleece blanket.

So it’s cold and raining and I’m sitting in one of the not air conditioned rooms in my fleece robe wrapped up in a fleece blanket. I may as well go shopping. I can turn on the heated seats in my little VW Bug, Blucy. It’s a baby Bug and I thought Lucy was a good name, but then I thought Blucy was even better. Blucy has eyelashes on her headlights. People point at my car and smile. They are NOT laughing.

So, I’m finishing my coffee and making my shopping list. I have to make lists because I can’t remember shit these days. I’ve decided that forgetfulness is probably a hardwired biological change in aging that forces us old broads to get at least some exercise. I probably put on half of my required steps every day just walking around the house looking for something I had in my hand a few minutes ago, but can’t remember where I set it down. I put on the other half looking for what my husband misplaces and accuses me of moving. I know a place where he could put his things and never lose them.
Sarah Palin's Faux Paux - Just Another Excuse for Latest Hairball She's Hacked Up
So far my list includes:

  • Ink for printer
  • Goop for cat’s hairballs
  • Toilet cleaner
  • Gold Bond foot cream

I lead such an exciting life.

The ink is necessary to print a return merchandise label so I can return the ugly wallpaper I thought would look like a real brick backsplash in my kitchen. Actually there is a real brick wall behind the sheetrock that would look so great exposed, if I could just get the husband to leave home for a few days and get at it with the hammer and crow bar. He seems pretty content in his refrigerated man cave – I mean the living room – in his lazy man recliner. I don’t think he’s going anywhere.

Oh, and in my defense, the Gold Bond cream isn’t for me. It’s not for my husband either. It’s for my nine year old granddaughter who said, (after the brief discussion I was having with her brother about his first girlfriend who seems a little high maintenance requesting high end chocolates if he wants to buy her something) “If I had a boyfriend, I’d just ask for Gold Bond cream for my feet.”

I think she’s an old soul; she’s got the kvetching down.


Never the less she persisted

A woman who forged her inroad among men, who believes that having a hand in the governance of her country is her right—the right of all women, was silenced. More so, she was put in her place, being secondary to the men on the floor  allowed to speak. Still she persisted in her mission.
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Margaret Sanger
Rosa Parks
Elizabeth Cady Stanton
Susan B. Anthony
Sojourner Truth
Amelia Earhart
Sally Ride
Elizabeth Blackwell
Gloria Steimnan
Bella Abzug
Hillary Clinton
Malala Yousafzai

These women, like so many others named by history and so many more forever nameless, persisted against unfairly stacked odds. They resisted the unequal treatment handed them by  fathers, husbands, bosses, clients, and even strangers. They rose above their acceptable place. They prevailed in spite of men who dismissed their substance often without forethought—so engrained is the entitlement of male superiority.

It’s been a tough few months for me since the election. Throughout the campaign I watched a woman being demonized by men afraid of losing control. But she persisted and I believed putting a woman in the White House was, finally, a sure thing. How very smug of me, how audacious to step so far out of my place as a woman. Now, watching the unraveling of complex multiple forces that resulted in defeating the best prepared and equipped candidate, I feel battered by an unseen but palpable hatred directed at women, and more so at the feminine persona in whole.

The men wresting control of our county, those elected, those in the banks, the boardrooms and the neighborhood bars, do not represent all men, but it’s evident they believe men should take action and women should take a seat. I think it’s safe to say they are a demographic not well studied in Jung’s archetypes. They sort women into four basic pigeonholes: virgin/princess, lover/seductress, mother/nurturer and whore. Respectively, they believe their duty is to rescue the princess, seduce the lover, take solace in the mother and own the whore—all positions of power.

Yet it’s not just our physical encroachment into their territory they are now fighting against. Healthcare, education, free school lunches, social programs, medicare, environmental protections, and offering comfort and aid to immigrants and refugees are all in the crosshairs of their scope. It’s not ironic that at one time women made up the majority workforce in these professions, or that these endeavors are generally accepted to be based in caregiving, nurturing and compassion—aspects of the feminine archetype.

In the current political atmosphere It’s becoming more difficult not to believe that women and everything we stand for are the enemy.

I’ve always known these men were out there, but in the ensuing weeks since their king and leader has invaded our land, it’s been difficult seeing the growing magnitude of their numbers each day. Seeing the self satisfied smirk on Mitch McConnell’s face and hearing the hubris of our president declare that women employed in the White House should wear a skirt and high heels (most certainly for the pleasure of his gaze) is demeaning.

Having men I’ve known all my life, tell me on my social feed to shut up and get over it, is demoralizing.

Being dragged backward in time by my hair feels like defeat.

Never the less I continue to persist.